Alma 31 verse 1 is basically how I felt
The tail end of the Fatima (Mary) processionHEY EVERYBODY
The attached picture is from the procession of Fatima (Mary) from Cacilhas to the Cristo Rei statue in commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the construction of the statue. I invite you to read Alma 31:1 if you want to know how I felt about that. Luckily, I had my camera at the time because we had just come from a baptism.
Thanks for sending that package off! This might be a little TMI but I got my first blister of the mission this last week, so the new socks should help it be my ONLY blister.
With the proceedings of the last week, I have entered into a G2 crisis [as in pens -- more are in the package!]. I have only a few drops of ink left. I feel like Moroni when he was the last Nephite. I am nearing the end of my third moleskine thanks to what I have been learning this past week.
As a preview, we didn't find new people to teach regularly, though we did find several people who wanted to learn more and wanted to read the Book of Mormon. Preach My Gospel says that “nothing happens in missionary work until you find someone to teach”, so the fact that they didn't want us to come over and teach them makes me feel a little bit of failure in that respect, but I find it hard to believe that encounters such as these cannot be counted as teaching moments.
The freedom in doing my best that I found last week slowly regressed into trying to find ways to improve, which degenerated into another form of perfectionism. I answered huge questions I had about that this morning.
I want to talk about a lesson we had on Sunday with António Fragoso. He served a mission about 20 years ago, has a strong testimony, but doesn't go to church or go to the activites or things like that. He loves history, so we decided to investigate with him the scripture in D&C 88 which says to learn about the perplexities of nations and kingdoms and all that. We read the part in Mosiah about when he translated the record of Ether and wanted everybody to know what was in it. So we decided to read the book of Ether during the week and talk about the lessons in it in our next visit.
This lesson that we had with him was probably the most effective lesson I have ever seen on my mission. We talked for a long time. We talked about how we have the opportunity to cross the great waters (this life) with light or in darkness, based on our faithfulness. We talked about 3 Nephi 10, and once I brought that up with him and related how it has helped me to treat my perfectionism, it started opening him up. He's a rather quiet person. He is very well educated. He doesn't really like to “mix and mingle”. He described himself as being “abnormal”. He has a strong testimony of Jesus Christ and of the Restoration, but he has felt rejected by the members, just because he thinks differently and has different interests. 85% of our active members are socially dependent on each other, ignorantly apostate, and stubborn to change. Many of them go to church just to be part of the group and fulfill social expectations than to express their personal gratitude for the Savior and to progress individually. So, you throw in somebody like António Fragoso, and everybody starts jumping all over him because he's not just like them, telling him that he needs to change. When he goes to church, he goes to learn, but it turns into more of a social ritual than a spiritual one. It's no excuse for not going to church, obviously, but it's a clear explanation.
I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Sundays are the hardest days for me as a missionary. Culturally, in this mission, we're supposed to be those cheery people shaking everybody's hands and conversing with everybody and seeing how everybody's week went. We're meant to make their experience better. Let me make this clear: I am not that kind of person. During church, I'm pensive and I try to be penitent so those three hours aren't just time lost. Since I've started playing piano, I've loved being able to play prelude music before the meeting and try to make a difference that way instead of being irrevrent. It's made a big difference for the members of the ward, too. It's been quieter in the chapel. Previous missionaries who played the piano never did prelude music because they felt obligated to “meet and greet”. I am not a meet and greet person, and I don't really care about social obligations, honestly. I have made covenants with God, not with them.
So with António Fragoso, I shared with him my simple testimony of Jesus Christ. I don't think I've shared it in email because it's very, very personal, but Jesus Christ is the only reason that I don't give up. I have thought life to death, and there is nothing that justifies it except Him.
I asked António to go to church and just sit up on the front row with me to not have to worry about the rest of the members. He wanted to! He wanted to keep studying parts of the Book of Mormon with us. We're going to review Lehi's dream tonight.
Anyway.
I did a study this morning on faith and works.
In previous discussions and debates with people before the mission, I was taught to reflexively whip out James 2, that says “faith without works is dead” and that Abraham was justified by works.
I found in Romans 3 today some verses that say that we are justified freely by the grace of Christ or even that we are justified by faith not works.
It's an issue that weighs extremely heavily on our minds. “What are the requirements for eternal life?” is a question that created many different churches. Faith? Covenants? Keeping commandments? What exactly is it?
We often feel extremely pressured because of some gravely misunderstood doctrines (as far as I can tell): faith leads to action, signs follow those who believe, we have to show our faith by our actions, etc.
I want to illustrate my point with some extremes:
I have felt like I don't have faith because I am not perfect and don't understand how I'm supposed to do everything right that I'm supposed to do all at the same time. If I really had faith, shouldn't it show in my works? In other words, if I really had faith, wouldn't I keep every commandment like I should, regardless of my weaknesses?
The misunderstood idea is that action is proof of faith. This is false. I guarantee that thousands of “active” members that go to church every week and do everything they're supposed to do do not have faith as strong as we assume they do. They do great things, it appears, but they don't have faith! Actions are not proof of faith.
I was in Alma 25 today in my reading, and Alma 25:15-16 teaches the true relationship between faith an works very clearly: The law (the commandments) do not save you. Keeping the commandments does not save you. D&C 82:10 teaches that the Lord is bound when we do what he says, but can we really believe that we are keeping his commandments perfectly as to merit salvation on our own? They kept the Law of Moses to strengthen their faith in Christ, not to try to prove it. (To whom are we trying to prove our faith, anyway? Other members? Non-members?) They kept the law so they could keep the hope they had in Christ. Christ is the Savior, not our obedience. He is the guarantee. Only he can guarantee our salvation – that's his job, not ours. The Gospel, as taught by his mouth, is faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. Anything more or less is “not built upon [his] rock.” When we think we qualify ourselves for salvation, we've started building our foundation on ourselves and not on Him. We must have faith in Him and strengthen our faith and hope in Him.
Action is not proof of faith, but faith is proof of action.
Faith only comes from action.
Action does not instantly produce faith.
The Holy Spirit of Promise is how we can know if we are “justified” or not, and only we can feel that for ourselves.
Salvation is between you and the Lord (and nobody else), and it always will be.
Let's do our best.
LOVE
ELDER LOBO
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